Dear Younger Self…

Dear younger self,

You don’t actually know me, but I certainly know you. Someday you will know exactly who I am, but for now, you are focused on exactly where you are right now.

You are about 17 years old right now and you are living life day by day. You have no worry of tomorrow and no care for the future. This is the time in your life when most of your worries and fears are what you will wear the next day or whether or not the cute boy likes you or not. I wish I could shake you and tell you to enjoy the days and soak up every moment when things are not so bad. I know they feel like the end of the world to you right now, but it isn’t.

In about 3 years you are going to elope and marry the one man no one would ever want you to be with. You will be stubborn and hold as tight as you can to the trust you have in this man you love in spite of his faults. You will have the hardest first year of marriage imaginable, but hold on tight because there is so much beauty in the end! You will be carrying your sweet baby girl in your womb while trying to keep your marriage in one piece, but be still because God will carry you. You probably don’t believe a word I am saying right now because I know who you are at 17, but hold these words close to you if you can. Once you are in this marriage, in spite of the level of difficulties, God will move mountains! You will see Him work in your marriage, in your husband and in YOU in incredible ways! Have patience and trust your marriage to rest in HIS hands.

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To My Love and the One Loved by Many

To my precious husband,

You turn 31 today! It’s a day we celebrate the day you were born and the world immediately became a sweeter place because of you! You are kind, tender, loving and caring. You exceed my dreams everyday by loving me so selflessly and beautifully everyday. You are the perfect team mate to do life with, the best partner in crime to face this crazy life of parenting together and the besets friend a girl could ask for! Thank you for blessing me endlessly and never failing to make me laugh when I need it most. There truly is no-one that “gets me” quite like you do and that is truly a God given gift! I cry ugly tears over how incredibly thankful I am for you and could not be happier with the life we have built together. I love our silly dances in the kitchen, I love how ticklish you are even though you hate it, I love how patient you are when I throw your pillow off the bed every time you get out of bed (laughing just thinking about it), I love that we both appreciate chinese food the same way, I love our classic TV show marathons (currently almost through all of Will & Grace), I love your dry humor and horrible dad jokes and I love your accent you use when you read books to the kids.

So much I love about you and I get to enjoy it all forever with you! Happy Birthday, my love and may you feel celebrated and extra loved today!

I love you to the moon and back.

-Elisa

You are an amazing father, husband, friend, grandson, brother and more! I know you have not only blessed me in so many ways, but you have also touched the lives of so many others. There are so many people that are lucky to have you in their life and I have a few of them right here to share how you mean to them. May this be a reminder to you how truly spectacular and special you truly are!

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When Cancer Changes Everything- Part 3

Read Part 1 of When Cancer Changes Everything

Read Part 2 of When Cancer Changes Everything

What do you think people will see when they look back at YOUR life?

On Memorial Day 2016, we celebrated my mom’s life surrounded by our friends and family. The church auditorium was full of the people who loved my mom and people she loved so dearly. Each and every person that was in that building was touched by my mom in a special way.

The service couldn’t have been more beautiful. It was full of music and worship, which is exactly what my mom would have wanted. A couple of people spoke during the service and had nothing but the kindest and most positive things to say about her. After the service we had a reception line. We as a family greeted everyone who attended the service.

“Your mom was such a special lady.”
“Your mom served everyone so selflessly.”
“I loved your mom so much.”
“Your mom was an amazing and faithful friend to me.”
“Your mom was always so kind and gracious.”
“Your mom loved the Lord so beautifully.”

As I think about all these amazing things people had to say about her it makes me think about what people would say about me. What if my husband, my dad or my sister were standing in that reception line.

What would people be saying to them about me? 

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When Cancer Changes Everything- Part 1

“Hello?”

“Hey! Are you with mom?”

“No, should I be?”

“She is having a CT scan right now and I don’t think she should be alone.”

It was my sister calling from out-of-town. I had known mom was not feeling well and was dealing with some pain, but I didn’t know she was having a CT scan. My mom never wanted anyone to worry and at that moment there was nothing for her to worry about.

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